04/05/2011

It has truly been one of those weekends!

OKAY! So here is a bittersweet moment. I found out this Saturday that my grandmother is really really ill. My mom didn't know what was wrong with her, and she seemed a little worried while talking to her. She told me that she was going to take my grandmother to the doctor come Monday morning, just so we can find out what's going on. My mom told me that grammie wasn't eating and was too weak to move or do anything. Well, Monday comes and instead of taking my grammie to the doctor, my mom decides to take her to the hospitals ER. I found out yesterday that my grammie has cancer (in the lungs, liver, and adrenaline glands). Boy what a shocker.... I have spent the past 30 years with her and we have been through so much together. Especially with me wanting to transition and all... Not to mention, I just lost my grandfather this past January! We know for a fact that she will not make.... all we are really doing now is preparing ourselves and make sure that she is comfortable in every way possible. My mom said that she is trying to get her into a Hospice, that way they will assure that when she passes, it will be easy and comfortable on her.... That's the bitter part.

Here is the sweet part. I have been waiting all this weekend for today! Did you forget??? Today is the day that I go see Dr. Vicki Van Cleave to see what she says about me starting testosterone. Well.... to say the least. the visit went well. She will be my therapist for life unless I move out of state. But I am happy to say that she approved me, and will be writing my letter to start testosterone. She gave me the name and number to Dr. Allen Burris.... who he came highly recommended in the LGBT community. i set my appointment up with him, and I will be meeting with him come May 3rd at 1:00pm.  I am super excited about this visit only because this will be my new birthday (if he gives me the prescription). I will take my first shot on that day and then once every 2 weeks myself. I will see about doing half of my does for every week. I heard that there are highs (when you first get your shot) and then there are lows (about a day or two before you get your other one). I have heard that you get more energy and eat more for the first week and a half,, but then when you get close to taking your next shot, you are sluggish and irritable. I am hoping that doesn’t happen to me, but I’m sure that it will. Even though my grammie is dying (Lord bless her soul), I am happy that I am one step closer to beginning my journey while she is here on this earth….