08/28/2011

We made it through Hurricane Irene. She uprooted a few tress, did a little property damage, turned off some power, and created pools where there were none, but everyone is safe in my camp. I am included in the 15% in VA that continues to have power. I took my T shot on Friday during the hurricane, which is something that I will probably never forget. I decided to give myself my own shots from here on out. My ex gave me my shot last week and it hurt like hell! She went in at an angle and when I said ouch, she pulled it out and had to stick me again. I keep trying to tell her regardless of whatever noises I make, don't pull out! It makes the needle dull.... and then when you stick it in again, it hurts worse. LOL. No more shot giving for her. I got my new Social Security card Friday!!!! YAY ME!!!! It has my new name and everything. I am waiting to get my driver's license done because in the state of VA, they have to mail you your driver's license and I will be moving next weekend and do not have a permanent address. I don't want them sending my license to the old address, especially if I don't have a key to the mail box. Now that I am almost done with this, I have been doing my research on getting my surgeries done (top and hysto). I want to get my hysto done first because once I get my top done, I can get my gender marker changed on all of my paperwork. And of course, once I am officially male, my insurance will not cover me for a hysto. There is a doctor out in Norfolk that caters to the trans community.... but I know that my PCP will be able to point me in the right direction as well. I have been having a lot on my plate, and I have come to a point in my life to where I am ready to tell my parents. I am tired of trying to hide and when they call me by my name I just freeze and cringe a little. LOL. I guess I am getting use to my new name and I am ready for all of this to be over with. During my transition, I have met a lot of men and people in different phases of their transitions which I am happy to know. The ones that have been transitioning for a while, I learn a lot from, and for the newbies, I am able to share what I have learned from others as well as my experiences. I am so ready to go into work tomorrow and be able to have all of my paperwork (i.e. pay check, insurance, email) all changed over so it can be official in their records. You will be hearing a lot from me, being as though I do not have a lot going on since I'm not in school right now.... Be blessed!!!

08/21/2011

Today makes 3 months that I have been on testosterone (14 shots). It feels good to finally see some of the changes that the hormone can do! My voice has dropped once again, and it's kind of funny trying to talk sometimes. If I do not talk in my normal tone of voice (now), it will crack and sometimes squeak! LOL. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself. I have noticed that my little man down below has grown.... a lot! I know that might be a TMI situation, but hell, it's my blog and I am documenting all of the changes that are taking place! I have noticed that my skin is a little tougher than it once was, and my face has become oilier, which in turn, i am getting acne all over again, just like when I was going through puberty. It is not as bad, as I clean my skin often!!!! I have noticed that my muscle has changed as well.... my arms are becoming stronger and all the fat that I once had is moving to my stomach area (beer belly). I'm working hard to get it off. For some reason, when I take my shot, I get extremely tired now.... but I have noticed that I am more hungry and my metabolism has increased... although I am tired all of the time. I tried to get my social security card changed as well as my driver's license  on Saturday, but the Social Security Administration offices were closed. I have to get up early tomorrow morning to get all of that done, so I will be able to change everything in the system at work. I hope that they take a new picture of me for my new ID card, considering I do not have my locs anymore. but I just wanted to come through and say HAPPY 3 MONTH ANNIVERSARY to me!!!

08/13/2011

Oh boy! It has been an extremely long time since I have graced my blog pages. I hope everyone is doing well. Nothing much has changed... still haven't switched over any of my paperwork (driver's license, SS card, etc...) which this is on my top of my things to do list. I want to go ahead and get all of that switched over so they can change my name on my payroll checks and email address at work. I would also have to get all of my credit cards and bank information switched over.... my stocks and bonds... this is work people! LOL. Anyway, I still haven't told my parents. I know I know.... what am I waiting for? Well, it does not matter what age you are, you still don't want to disappoint your parents in any way. I am sure of myself and I know that this is what I need to do in order to live a happy life, but the fact that I may never see them again because of this haunts me. Oh well.... I am going to have to tell them sooner rather than later being that I will be in Atlanta in September. Speaking of September... my birthday is coming up. (YAY ME). I will be 31 years old... it seems like yesterday I was 25... I have started to see grey hairs on the top of my head, and I am not ready for that just yet.

This is what you all have been waiting for! The changes:
I have been on testosterone (believe it nor not I couldn't even spell this until I began my journey) for 13 weeks now, and I have seen some changes.
1.) Tone. My voice dropped, and is continuing to drop. I have attempted to speak in my normal tone of voice to no avail. LOL. My voice is cracking like a 13 year old horny male teenager. Sometimes it's funny, and other times, it's just embarrassing. LOL
2.) FACIAL HAIR! This was a really big thing for me... even though I do not believe facial hair makes a man, if you have a beard or a mustache, it's hard for people to mistake you for a woman. I had a mustache but I cut it off... and kept my little chin hair. I have been playing around with looks (facial hair duh) to see what fits my face. I am comfortable with just having the chin hair for right now. I have noticed that I have some stubble coming in. I do shave everyday, regardless if I have hair on my face or not. A friend of mine told me that if you shave everyday, you will start to see it come in... and he was right. Thanks POPS!
3.) Stronger. There are things I can do now that I couldn't do a year ago! I bought the P90X dvd's a while ago and attempted to use them.... and laughed at myself. I have started back doing the P90X and when I couldn't do one push up on the damn video, I can do 30 with no problem. All different forms of push ups.
4.) Attitude. Things that use to bother me, no longer do. I have more of a nonchalant attitude towards things now. If you want to talk to me, then ok. If not, well leave me alone. LOL
5.) Body in general. My body odor has changed. I smell more manly now, and also I am starting to sweat a lot more. Don't worry, I'm not funky, but I can smell a difference. LOL.

I have been talking to a lot of people that are very supportive of my transition process. Still waiting for a chance to tell my story across the country. I have joined an FTM Greek Fraternity since the last blog. It is called Mu Omega Nu Fraternity and I am so proud to be a member! It is a bond of brotherhood that I have been seeking that I could not find anywhere else. We are all in different stages of our journey, but we are all men, and we love each other as our brothers.

I cut my locs off! I wanted a more professional male look so I cut them off about 2 weeks ago. I believe I look better with them off. Just my opinion. I have been exercising everyday and watching what I'm eating. I took a semester off on school to focus on ME, and will be returning on September 24th (5 days before my birthday). I won't be going to Capella anymore, but I will be going somewhere here in VA. Stay tuned! I am also changing my major to Criminal Justice.

Here is a picture of me without my locs.... sooooo much better!

Here is another picture of me without my locs... you can also see my little chin hair. Do you think my facial structure has changed also?

Here is a link to the FTM Greek Fraternity I am a member of.... just in case someone is interested.

Mu Omega Nu Fraternity