04/01/13

So this is a great day starting out! I finally got a laptop, so now I am able to do a lot more of my work from home. I can also do my therapy sessions via Skype too. I am still waiting for my last letter, which is driving me insane. It's like I take 2 steps forward and get knocked back 3. But all in due time. Everything happens for a reason, but I at least want to get everything done before winter.

08/13/13 - Top Surgery Around the Corner!

Proud to support breast cancer research! With cancer running in my family, I thought it would only be right to do as much as I could to find a cure. With the removal of my breast tissue during my top surgery, the tissue will be donated for breast cancer research. It is a blessing that I am able contribute to such a worthy cause, but I am asking for your help as well. The amount is that of which my insurance will not cover for my top surgery. By contributing to my cause, I will be able to proceed with the surgery and donate my breast tissue for breast cancer research. Any amount will help, as I also will be making monetary donations myself. This is an extremely important cause for me, and I would like to thank you in advance for you support! My surgery is right around the corner and every little bit helps!

03/26/13

And here I am again. I am still currently waiting on my last letter from my therapist, so I can submit everything to my insurance company for top surgery. It seems like my reality is so close, but yet so far away. Once I get this last letter, everything else will be rolling accordingly. I am still working and anticipating being out for some time due to recovery. I know my co-workers will be happy for me, and I am ready for it to be over with. I am ready to confront my parents now.... more than ever. I want to do it right before my surgery, so there aren't too many moves they can make (e.g. talking me out of it, etc.). I love my parents, but I have to do what is best for me. They do not have to approve, as I am not looking for approval, but I don't want the disrespect to follow. That is where I will draw the line. I know they will be embarrassed because they are very "image conscious" people. Very well known in the church, and to find out that there little girl is now a grown man, it will be a culture shock for them. I am almost for certain I won't be able to go to church with them anymore, and to be extreme, they may write me off and tell everyone I am passed. This is just to save their image in the church. With my father a minister and my mom a missionary, I can anticipate this going oh so wrong.

I am focusing on me and my schooling at this present time. I was in a relationship, and figured I had to back away from it. I am not saying she is a bad woman or anything, but she has done and said some things that had me question my process.... and that is not a good thing, and then I began to question the people around me and their support. It was hard to accept someone who I thought loved me and whom I loved very much to be so hurtful, but that is the way of the world. I would have expected it from a stranger, but no one who actually knew and was informed of the other things I was going through.

I still remain positive, although I will have a lot to face in the near near future. I am still loving my own place and being by myself! It is so nice to just come home and chill... I can clean when I want (which is very often), I can be comfortable in my crib, and I can go to bed as early or as late as I want! I tend to go early because of school and the fraternity.... which by the way, we have just hit our 2 year mark! I am working with the founder now to set up a scholarship fund for individuals of trans experience to assist with surgeries. Being that I am saving so much, I figured it would only be appropriate to put the amount that I have saved as the first funds for the scholarship. I need to figure out what I want to call it. Probably Mu Man something. LOL. But I know that I have to get my paperwork in order, and I may be able to get some grants and stuff to help with the funding of some of it. I have no idea how to write a grant proposal; however, I have a lot of contacts that I am sure would love to be a part of this!

But that is all I have for now.... Until next time!

03/01/2013- WHEW! Been a long time!

It has been over a year since the last time I wrote in my blog. How the time flies! So many different things have happened and changed during the course of the year. Not too much though, but enough for it to be noticeable! Where shall we begin....

Well, I was working on saving the money to go get my top surgery done, but being that my insurance company is going to cover it, I really don't have too much to worry about.... other than trying to find a surgeon that will take insurance for the procedure. I have found one, and with my insurance, it requires me to have 2 therapist letters and one from my endo. Well, I was able to get all three of my letters and will be submitting them to my insurance company this month. It typically takes an additional month for approval, but I would be saving a ton of money. My sister will be traveling with me to make sure that I am OK and to take care of me. At least for the first week, and then I am going to Atlanta for my cousins and them to help. I have a great phamily!

My parents still do not know that I am medically transitioning; however, they have no choice but to know this year because of surgery. I told myself that I was not going to go into surgery without them knowing. My mom is already pressuring me to let her come to VA. I already know it is going to be an issue, and I am mentally and emotionally prepared to take whatever comes. My parents are more image people. They care about what people think of them, and being that my father is a minister in a Pentecostal church and my mom being a missionary.... I will be living in all types of hell, and God doesn't love me, and this and that. To be honest, I don't even know if they will be keeping me in their life. If not, it will hurt, but I have a huge support system and I am sure they will hold me down.

I am still working my butt off, but I have my own place now! WHOOP WHOOP! It was big change, and I am loving the independence! I watch what i want to watch, eat what i want to eat, and do what I want to do in MY HOUSE! This is the most comfortable I have felt in a long time.

Of course.... I have been traveling quite a bit, and my have an opportunity to go to India this year for work! Am I excited? Hell yeah! Am I scared? HELL YEAH! But I do not want to regret any of my decisions.... so if this is a way for me to travel overseas.... I will take it! Especially if it is free!!! Who wouldn't?!?! Now granted, I have only been on a plane once and that was from Atlanta to Houston. Not a bad flight, but I will say the 4 year old next to me put me to shame.

I have decided to start working on a book regarding my life as a black man, but a black man of trans experience. I have to reach out to some writers that one of my really good friends put me in touch with. I am excited to see what is to come. I have a lot of experiences during my journey, and not everyone journey's is the same; however, we are all not pregnant men or Chaz Bono. This is one thing that I want to bring to the attention of society.

Here are some pictures of me now.... I have changed a lot since the last time I began writing this blog. I have been medically transitioning for 2 years now, so i am "blending" a lot more now than I was a year ago. It has been a long time coming, but I am so ready to have my top surgery. I have been thinking about having bottom surgery, but I know that will not be in the future any time soon. I know that it be a good minute before I have this surgery.