05/11/2011

It has been a wonderful week! I have started my new postion at my job and my new shift. That's why i haven't been on here that often. I actually get home about 12 midnight, and then in the morning when I wake up, I do my workout (which is a plus for night time shift). Everything has been working out so well for me there too! All of the new associates on my team call me Byron, I no longer get the strange looks and stares when I entered into the men's restroom, and it feels great! i actually passed as a man for the first time in God knows how long at the gas station. I held open the door for a man, and he said 'thank you, sir'. I thought I was going to piss on myself (LOL)!

Soooooo... ONE WEEK! I actually take my 'T' shot in one week. I ahve been waiting for this moment for at least 13 years! I still haven't told my parents yet. I have tried to compose a letter for them, and then read it on the phone to them. I need to watch that Becoming Chaz special that was shown on OWN tonight. I do have it recorded, so I will be watching that tomorrow morning.... or at least by this weekend.

I did in fact find an FTM greek organization that I am researching.... hopefully I will be able to make a decision by this Fall so I know where I stand.

I am still greiving the death of my grandmother but it has gotten a lot better. of course with Mother's Day passing, it got really hard, and there are some days when I'm thinking to call her and then realizing that she won't answer the phone. Those are the hard times, but I know that she is in Heaven looking down on me and smiling. I knew that she was always proud of me, but I am still battling with the fact that her death could very well be God's way of saying "I approve", does that make sense? I mean, my grandmother didn't mind me transitioning as long as she wasn't here to see all of the physical changes I would be going through, and no sooner did she say that, she was ill in a hospice and then passed. Regardless, even thought I haven't told my parents yet, I am still going to go ahead with the process full force. Growing up in a Pentecostal house hold was no fun, and I am sure this will be a gut buster for them. I am still anticipating my shot day..... so of course there will be more to come!!!!